Well if you haven’t figured it out yet, every Wednesday we listen to the voice of the readers on this blog rather than the voice of the author. So if you feel like you have something on your heart you want to share, or even if you just feel like being heard e-mail me at adonyes@gmail.com and I will make sure to post it next Wednesday.

“I really want to be passionate again. I was reading the Word last night and I felt like I was just going through the motions. Just like a nice bedtime story to make me feel good before bed. I know I need to get serious about reading the Word and maybe start doing it in the morning (because I am kind of a morning person). I am getting concerned with things of this world which kind of scares me. I don’t want to lose focus. I recently heard the song Motions by Matthew West and it was exactly what I’m going through. I am so tired of complacent Christianity. I want to be different than the majority of the world. I want to be passionate.”

Wanting Zeal, Female Age 16

Austin Mann Photography

I guess I fail to realize the impact my purity decisions will have on my future. I’ve heard all the purity talks, and even bought the ring. It doesn’t matter. Whenever I’m alone with my girlfriend I can only think about doing one thing, and that one thing consumes my thoughts. An older guy told me this earlier this week about how I have no idea the handprints I’m living all over my girlfriend. He didn’t mean physical, all though he could’ve been, but he was referring to the emotional imprints I was leaving on her. I guess I never really thought about that. I just sort of thought we were two teenagers who really liked each other and were having fun. To be honest, I never really thought of long-term consequences, or the impact our physical decisions today would have on our future. Live in the moment, right? What I mean by that, is I can spend all my time worrying about the future and protecting my purity for my one day future wife, but what if I never even get married? Or what if they girl I’m dating today becomes my wife? Or what if I make all these commitments to be pure only to find out my future wife didn’t make the same commitment. You see my dilemma? The chances of a girl out there for me who is staying physically pure is slim to none. With all that said, I know this, there lies within me some deep conviction that what I am doing with my girlfriend is wrong, I know that because I wouldn’t be writing this to be posted on a some blog if I didn’t feel wrong about my physical relationship with my girlfriend. But the more I do stuff with her, the more I numb the conviction. I don’t mind any of you leaving your opinion, but to be honest, I’m more interested in hearing from someone who is currently struggling with the same thing, or better yet, someone who has overcome this type of struggle in their own life.

-Battling Purity, Male-Age 17

The other day, a very close friend of mine looked me straight in the eye and said, “I don’t even know who you are anymore”… this struck me pretty hard at first. We went back and forth passing the blame and firing insults. Every part of me was in question. Who I was. Who I am. Who I’m becoming. So much that I couldn’t even keep up with the conversation.

Overwhelmed by hurt and fear, I began to sink. I didn’t have the answers.. I still don’t. I became angry. So angry that all I wanted to do was hurt them like they were hurting me. So I took my hand and clenched my fist. I raised it up and threw it forward.

It was stopped quickly by the glass of the mirror. Leaving a more accurate picture of what reality was. A shattered man staring back asking what I had done.

“We were broken before you hit the glass… the only difference now, is that people can see it”

Oh, God! Expose the sin in my life that I willfully ignore when I look in the mirror.

Broken, Male-Age 19

“Ghosts”

Such a funny thing, distance.
If there were words of praise to fill each void
no distance would ever be too great.
What ever could matter as much as this?
Because even still that word escapes me,
you are more perfect than perfection
but there is no choice to say it once again.
Every word has lost its sting
but I say not a moment too soon,
we are but ghosts to what it means to live
every word until there is nothing left,
because I have so much more to give.
This would be closing,
despite every protest to continue dreaming
at last the truth which knew no home,
nowhere close to the deserved
forget these ghosts which wait to be remembered,
for you are far too perfect for walls such as this.

M. Tan Photography

His words cause more damage than a fist ever would. Doesn’t he get it? Does he not understand that I’m an emotional being? My Dad has never laid a finger on me, but the damage he has done verbally is more than I would ever wish upon anyone. It’s amazes me that a man can be thrown in jail for physically abusing a child, but emotionally they can do it all they want. Sometimes I wish he would hit me rather than have to listen to some of the things he says to me. You know what the crazy thing is about all this, my heart hurts for him. I see the insecurities in his eyes, I see the hurt, I see the feeling of inadequacy. It’s almost as if he knows he’s failed as a Father, so why even try? He hates my Jesus and everything He stands for. I think he fears facing his sin. Sometimes I wonder if he thinks he’s done too much bad to be forgiven. I’ve tried to tell him it has nothing to do with him being good enough, and that Jesus takes him just as he is, but that just opened up a tongue lashing about how narrow-minded I am, foolish, idiot, dumb, etc. I really think he’s scared. And as a result his fear results in emotional abuse upon me. I think I’ve forgiven him, and other times I can’t stand him. I just want Jesus to overtake him. If only he knew how I long to be encouraged from his lips, to hear him tell me he loves me, that he’s proud of me, and that he thinks I’m beautiful. Pray for Dad, he needs it. I need it!

-Wailed by Words, Female-Age 17

Friendship is a funny thing. Everyone has their own ideas, own opinions on how friends should treat them. The funny thing is that people aren’t thinking of their friends. They are just thinking of how their friends treat them, or act towards them, or what they tell them and so on. Exactly. Exactly wrong. True friendship starts with selflessness. It isn’t even about how much you know about your friends. Being a friend isn’t knowing why your friend is sad, it’s making yourself  look stupid and acting like a fool to get them to laugh and have a better day; being a friend is taking your friend’s place when they are being made fun of; its going out of your way to do something nice to them; it’s taking the blame for them when they are up to their neck already; it’s cancelling plans to be with them when they really need it; it’s giving them a compliment and an encouraging word, it’s telling their new boyfriend or girlfriend that if they break your friend’s heart then you’ll break his or her face; it’s believing in them; it’s making them feel like their Special, Important, Worth Something,

I Strive everyday to be this person, to be this friend, it’s hard. It’s hard when my friends, those I love so much, don’t see it. They don’t see my efforts. And worse of all, they don’t return the efforts. It hurts. And it tears at my heart. Each of my friends has a piece of it, and its getting really hard to give more of it away, for fear that I won’t get anyone’s back L

-Female, Friendship-Age. 17

I’ve spent my whole life building walls.
These walls separated me from the world. I got lost in my mind.
Trapped, really. I loved my walls. They kept me safe. Insecure and self-sufficient, I was building up walls instead of bridges.
There is only one entrance, and only one key. I hid that key safe in my heart, until one day… I realized that I lost it. I searched and searched, but I couldn’t find it. I wanted to let someone in, but I couldn’t find the key. I had forgotten how to love.

I spent so long building my walls that when the time came to mourn my Mom’s death, I couldn’t. I had also forgotten how to feel. I couldn’t even feel pain.
I felt nothing. Just emptiness. I cried out to God “Give me pain if that’s what’s real, it’s the price we pay to feel.”

I was alone, dying deep inside my walls that no one could break through. Some tried, but they got weary, or frustrated, and walked away. “Please don’t leave me here to die”, I thought every time I watched someone turn around and leave.

It’s in my blood you see, to be brave. Always has been. Ever since I was a little girl. But now, when it really mattered, I wasn’t being brave, or strong. I had simply turned my heart into stone. And I was destroying myself from the inside out. It would eventually kill me. I was holding back silent screams.

I used to think that I would die alone inside those walls. But one day I spotted a hole in my precious wall. Was someone seriously trying to tear down my walls? My safety? (more…)

In the midst of moving out and becoming my own person, I guess I decided that means I shouldn’t do what “I’ve always wanted”. My Dad, being the smart man he is, knew from the first time I told him I didn’t want to go to his alma mater, that it wasn’t what my heart wanted. Way too many phone calls ended in tears over the issue of college. I was desperate. After one dramatic call with my mom I finally broke down. I literally got down on my knees and cried out to God. I finally saw that I was not in control. He is.

God knows exactly what my future holds. It was no longer a right or wrong decision, but now a left or right. I just needed to choose. Okay, easy enough. I think I can handle that. So I flew off on vacation and had my adventure, knowing that when I returned, I would be ready to finally decide! So here I am, back to the present. Decision making time! Today my mom and I went down to see one of the college campuses I am thinking about….and, I really liked it! So…drum roll please…after a lot of prayer I have officially made a decision as to what college I will attend next fall! There ya have it folks. I will end this drawn out post with this: we will never understand the workings of God, but as long as we trust in his timing and divine plan for us, decisions aren’t really as big as we think they are. God is ready for whatever we pick, we just have to make our move.

Female-18, College Decisions

THE SILENCE

The somber mood

throughout the school,

Silence echoes in the halls.

It all speaks of the student that no longer is,

Grief presses in the walls.

The PA system hums a sad tune,

And then the principle utters the sound.

“Let us take a moment of silence”,

Unwilling to step outside the bounds.

Unwilling to petition the God of comfort,

Unwilling to pray for peace.

Unwilling to jeopardize his title and paycheck

So that the tears and grief might cease.

America has become a place of persecution

Under the title “Freedom of Speech.”

Protecting the rights of every god and faith,

Except for the truth and the ones that reach.

His spirit cries for him to say more

As the moment comes to an end.

But the fear of man overcomes the fear of God

And silence is all there is.

Poetic Teen, Female-Age 17

I’m done. Officially checked out. I can’t stand high school anymore. I am so ready to be graduated already. No more drama, no more curfew, no more stupid rules. I am so ready to be free. I feel like the 2nd semester of Senior years are so pointless. Even the teachers check out. I’d rather be working or working out and doing something more productive with my time. I’ve been told to make the most of these last few months, but it is so hard when I get so excited about what is ahead. Fighting senioritis.

Male, Senioritis, Age 18