” My greatest fear is to be just another teenage girl. I don’t want to be average. I want to be what God wants me to be, and I know God has a huge plan for my life, I know its bigger than I could ever think about. I’m scared that I would miss His plan for my life. I have seen what its like to be out of God’s will. Its not fun. I’m scared that when Im gone there will be nothing for anyone to remember. I’m scared that when God looks me right in the eyes that He shrinks back thinking about how great my life COULD have been. I’m scared I’m not going to live up to God’s, others, or even my own standards. I’m scared of falling short. I am someone that gives all I’ve got all the time. So when I fail, its hard for me to accept that. I don’t want to disappoint anyone, especially not God. I know I didn’t write about just my greatest fear but if you think about it, everything I just said ties into one thing… I don’t want to be average, I want to go above and beyond that bar that was set for my by myself or my parents or whoever.
I dont want to be one in a million.. I want to be one OUT of a million.”

-Meant to live for more, Female Age 15

“For We loved You so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well because you have become so dear to us,” 1st Thessalonians 2:8.
I thought I knew what this verse meant before I left home. This verse obviously means that we share God, and we share ourselves. We share our story and His story. We are there for someone as we tell them about how God is there for them too. But honestly, I think I missed the point. This verse is a call, a call to me, you, and all of us who call God our father and Jesus our savior. It is a call to walk along side everyone we come in contact with and love them with the love of Christ. It’s a call for the church to become what it always was meant to be… a community the rallies around the broken; and it took going off to college and being on my own for me to truly understand this. This year at college has been an unbelievable blessing for me, it has become a true home more than the one I grew up in ever was. And at college in this environment, surrounded by people who truly love me I have seen God’s face and experienced his idea of what a true community centered around Christ is. The longer I have been here the more I have seen what we as christians are called to do and called to become. Paul in this verse is calling us to live our life in conjunction with the broken, sick, and hurting. He is calling us to share life with them, to literally walk alongside them and love them as we love ourselves. That is community, that is Paul’s call to us. Not to just share a story but to share our entire being, to share our joys and our brokeness. Brokeness…. (more…)

“These things inside race through my mind, “Where is God? Why isn’t He
answering? Does He even care?” I long to yearn for him, but I just
can’t get that passion back. He feels so far away. Did I do something
wrong? Sometimes I feel like He’s angry at me, and that’s why I can
never meet with Him. No matter how hard I try it always end up with me
being disappointed. I try to engage in worship but nothing ever
happens. I guess He’s too busy with other people. Am I not good enough?
What more do You want God? I’ve really tried. You know I have. Why
can’t you just meet me and show yourself to me? I already feel alone in
this school, can’t you atleast comfort me Lord? I don’t understand what
I can do to be noticed by You?

– Pounding for Passion, Male-Age 17

“Everything around me darkens, I can’t believe what has happened. My
teeth grind and my nails dig into my flesh. Why has this happened to
me? Hatred of myself, and hatred for others has caused me to cringe and
collapse under the darkness. The things in life that I have done wrong,
the things I have failed at, the things that have turned out to be
catastrophes, and the things other people have done is now raining from
the sky. I hate that she had left before I had a chance to love her. I
never got through the outside, never looked into the present, or the
past. I strive for perfection trying to listen to what God is telling
me to do.
I had no idea she adopted, saved lives, given up dreams
of her own, struggled through deaths, until she herself died. I would
loved her if I had known her, but instead I recoiled from her hugs. I
failed miserably at love and fairness, and for that I hate myself. I
shouldn’t have to know what a person has done in order to love them.
Why shoud I still be here if I have done nothing? I don’t even give
people chances or appreciate individuals for who they are. Why demand
perfection from myself and others? Why?”
-Hating Regrets, Female-Age18

“Why do I feel so alienated sometimes? Why do I do that to myself? Why
when I try to break out of that shell does it always seem to be going
too far or be taken the wrong way or just be humiliating? It destroys
the positive energy and feelings I have worked to hard to achieve.

It’s so hard to be positive, self confident and just feel good about
myself all the time. People see the positive energy and the self
confidence I have built up but they never know the demons inside that
are always working to tear it back down. If they did, they would just
call it being whiney and feeling sorry for myself because they can’t
understand what it’s like.

I feel so envious of those people who don’t constantly doubt themselves
and live in a nurturing, encouraging environment. It must be so
wonderful to have someone being a cheerleader for you. I’ve always had
to be my own cheerleader. I have two wonderful parents but they never
really understood me or understood that their “helping” only make me
feel that much worse. How do you feel good when what you want and are
interested in is looked at like it’s wrong. It sounds like I’m about to
say I’m gay but it’s not. In a lot of ways I’m sure the feelings are
much the same since either way you’re different from others around you.

Why could I have not been born in a place where it was OK to be me? Or
why couldn’t I have been born a redneck or a jock or something else?

Why do others get to be born with self confidence and self esteem while
I have to fight for every ounce of it that I have? Why do they get to
be born in to a situation that builds them up while I have to build my
own and do a poor job of it.

I wish so much that I knew what God had in mind because maybe then this
suffering wouldn’t be so hard. I do believe there is a reason for all
I’ve been thru and who I am but I just don’t see it. All I can see
right now is the pain I feel. Yeah, yeah, I know I’m a wonderful person
and all that junk. It’s just hard to believe it when the evidence and
actions of others say otherwise. Being “wonderful” means nothing when
you are still alone at the end of the day.”
-Why? Male, Age 19

“The freedom I have found when I’m not consumed by what other people think. During the year these people kept me in their jail of thoughts. But this summer I have stopped caring and have felt so liberated. I don’t care what they think about me, well at least not as much as I once did. I’m trying to become only concerned with whether or not my words, actions, and friends I choose are pleasing to God. I know I have a long ways to go before mastering this, but at least I feel like I’m on the right path. I’ll admit that I’m still insecure about some stuff, but like I said this is a process where I have only begun to renew my mind and transform my thinking. A process that  doesn’t occur overnight, but that will prove beneficial in the long run.”

-Freedom from Other’s Thoughts, Male-Age 17

Daily I’m growing

It’s causing change in my life

because I want Christ to be showing

When I’m broken He mends me together

the fact that He died for me

He loves me forever.

Our relationship is deepening

but the distractions are sickening

learning about myself through Him is hard

Satan tried to defend, but God is my guard.

- Link Year Female, age 18

“Adam asked me to talk for a few minutes about how link year has changed my life. I could honestly go on for hours because looking back on where I was in my walk with Christ just 7 months ago is like looking at a different person. Before Link Year, if you would’ve asked me why I was a Christian I wouldn’t have known what to tell you. I wasn’t living a life that was Christ-centered at all, calling myself a Christian became like just a fact about me, like my favorite color. I had just never owned my faith for myself. I’m pretty convinced that if I had gone straight to college I would’ve been blown out of the water by professors and even my peers. I have too many friends that I think I was in a similar boat with spiritually that have completely abandoned their walk with Christ after one year. Even at Christian universitites. That’s so scary to me because honestly, I’d probably be right there with them. I wouldn’t have been able to defend my faith because it had never been my own.

The community here is just irreplaceable and I honestly don’t know how to describe it. I have made the best relationships I’ve ever had here. The students are here because we are all striving toward the same thing every single day and that really shapes the way we interact with each other and makes our relationships so genuine and unique. The staff are so invested in us and are fantastic examples of what it actually looks like for Christ to be at the center of your life. We’re encouraged to to seek God for ourselves and always have encouragement along the way.

It’s become almost a joke how many questions I am constantly asking the staff. If I catch longer than a minute with one of them, I’ll probably be asking them something and they’re always stoked to work through them with me. Always pointing me straight to scripture and letting me form my own conclusion. God has done so much work in the hearts of every student here through this program and I’m so excited to see what else he does. I don’t want to leave at the end of this year. I don’t want to leave any of these people and move on to the next step. BUT i know that when it comes time to go, I’ll be ready for whatever comes because I have been equipped during Link Year to own my faith and live it out for the rest of my life. I cannot express how thankful I am for this program and how blessed I am to be part of it.”

Daily I’m growing

It’s causing change in my life

because I want Christ to be showing

When I’m broken He mends me together

the fact that He died for me

He loves me forever.

Our relationship is deepening

but the distractions are sickening

learning about myself through Him is hard

Satan tried to defend, but God is my guard.

- Link Year Female, age 18

Austin Mann Photography

“It’s amazing how much of an impact words can have on someone, good and bad. I have been hurt so many times by the smallest most simplest phrases. It’s crazy how so few words can hurt so badly,  yet sometimes they can completely brighten someone’s day. Some girls and I were talking and went around the circle and said something encouraging about that person’s “inner beauty”. I can’t even explain how amazing it was to hear those girls share their hearts with me. And it was so uncharacteristic of some of them to be that open! It was so uplifting to hear what the other girls had to say. That whole experience just made me so overwhelmingly thankful for those girls. Ahhh it was just so amazing because each girl is a leader in their own unique way and yet we were all able to find a common ground and bond on a deeper level. It made me realize that a leader does not come in one standard form. We are all part of the body of Christ and we all have a unique quality that can be used to further the kingdom. I should never judge someone and say they cannot do something because they don’t have a certain quality. God is able to use everyone through the gifts he has blessed them with. It’s certainly not my place to say what they are capable of accomplishing. I’m beginning to realize there is great value in living out James 1:19, “Be slow to speak, quick  to listen, and slow to become angry.”

–Listening,  Female-17